When life throws you lemons…
I say throw them back at the powers at be! Ha!! Life has taken an interesting, scary, and stressful turn here in the Phillips household. Lots of change happening, and I’d love to tell you all about it, just ask me. (Not quite the place to tell of all the happenings.)
The phrase ‘God will never give you more than you can handle’ has been coming to mind quite a bit lately. But this phrase is so untrue. No where in the Bible does it say this. He says He will carry us, bare our burdens. But He also said we will suffer for Him when we hold Him close. We were never promised an easy life. Our family is in the trenches. Hardships are stacked upon hardships. All we can do is pray, trust God for the bigger picture. So, please, let’s stop lying to each other. God gives us what HE thinks we can handle, because let’s face it, He knows me best. I cling to Him to get me through. He will see me through. The question is whether it’s this side of heaven or not.
May passed in a flurry. Mother’s Day was probably the worst day for me. Benjamin was my Mother’s Day baby. Monday the 9th was his scheduled birthday. I was a ball of tears just trying to get through. And I did. So many people near and far were holding my up in prayer. And it’s the weirdest thing. I feel like the mourning period is over. My pregnancy is over. A friends mom described it like David with the death of his infant son with Bathsheba. He fasted and prayed, and when the child did die, he tore his clothing and ate. Life is moving on. But day by day, life is getting better. My depression is still there, the sadness is still there, but there was an ending. Sometimes the depression is overwhelming, but as I said before, I don’t have the luxury of giving in. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe not. All I know is that it works. Staying busy works, and at the same time, I long for quiet. (yup, a joke with 3 VERY LOUD AND ACTIVE BOYS) I am thankful for my 4 reasons to get out of bed in the morning.